Watching the Light Dim...

Secret Number Thirty-One: I don't like people touching my face.

So, house-sitting was overall pretty successful, except for the fact that my grandparents' dog may hate me. Saturday morning, I groggily rolled out of the bed and let Gizmo out front to do her thing. Normally, she'll just run to the grass, do her business, and hobble back inside no problem. I expected this as I stood at the door in my normal sleeping attire of a sports bra and boy shorts. However, Gizmo decided to switch it up. I watched her wobble closer to the steps, but didn't do anything because I expected her to just stop and you know...whatever. But no. Gizmo kept walking down the little hill, down the sidewalk, and over next door. She kept glancing at the street like she was actually considering wobbling across to try out the other neighbor's grass! Not wanting to have a dead dog hanging over my head, I ran outside, sprinted down the sidewalk, scooped her up, and dashed for the front door...all in my skivvies. I was so embarrassed, and she looked pretty smug about it.

Gizmo didn't go out front again.

Frank is gone, a friend adopted him today. I was quite sad to pack his food into her car and buckle him up...his leaves actually touched the belt this time. They grow up so fast...

So, I just got a wonderful call.

I got this call from a restricted number and didn't answer until they called again and it was a riceboxx employee telling me that they're calling random people to offer this free thing if they come to the new store and I was like," where is it?" and he didn't know. So he's looking for the paper, yelling at someone else in vietnamese and kept saying "where's the f-ing paper!?" but he couldn't find it and told me sorry we could do this another time, and told me he loved me.

I told him I loved him too.

"You haven't loved since January..."

Just Give Me One More Song...

Secret Number Thirty: I love daisies.

So, here I am on vacation at my grandparents' house this weekend. Currently, I'm lounging on the couch watching the movie Up with their old shihtzu, Gizmo. The whole empty house thing isn't freaking me out just yet...no promises about when I try to go to sleep.

So, great great news. Yesterday at work, I finally finished my Inner Fish book. I pushed myself through the Darwinistic bullshit...and landed on the other side. I was so happy. I immediately jumped up and did my Happy Dance in the Daycare's hallway, extremely pleased with myself. After work, I floated home, still on my summer-assignment high. Then, Mom told me I had a message from my school counselor. I listened, and began yelling at the recorded voice. I yelled extremities and sobbed at my desk; she called to tell me that because of my schedule, I could not take AP Biology next year. So, I wasted all that effort and frustration on nothing. Frank was useless now, and I felt bad for admitting to it.

Because of my counselor, Frank will die.

I've started to accept this, and already sold the stupid book to a friend who is actually taking the class. Life goes on, yadda yadda.
Tomorrow is my sister's wedding shower, and I'm pretty darn excited. :)

"I do not like the cone of shame..." -dog from Up

If What They Say is True; You're a Boy and I'm a Girl...

Secret Number Twenty-Eight: I close my eyes when I'm thrown in the dark.

So, pretty lazy day. The girls were gone by noon for work (haha, suckers) and I was left to piddling around my house on the hunt for something to do. I finished my first scholarship essay, cleaned up my room, watched some Shark Week shows, and then laid out in the backyard to tan with my buddy, Frank, who looks much more green now that I've placed him indoors. What a pansy. Ha, get it? Pansies are flowers...ah, never mind. My two followers will laugh.

So, now it is 4:30, and I'm stuck with nothing to do. Again. I take a lot after my mother, and just like her, I can't just sit around. I need a chore to do; something to go find. Bah, damn the hot 106 Texas degree weather! My step grandparents are coming over, and I don't particularly feel like sitting around listening to them shoot the breeze, but I can't hide in my room on the computer like "all them damn teenagers these days".

I spent too much money this weekend. Way, way too much. My whole check, actually, and I feel so guilty. I have no money to show for this entire summer. I need to cut my shopaholic tendencies and chill out. Make other people pay for shit :)

Okay, well...I guess I shall go hunt for something else to do.

"I better find yo lovin', I better find your heart..."

Brace Yourself!!

Secret Number Twenty-Seven: I think my toes look like french fries.

I'm waiting for the best friends to get over, so I'm cleaning like the nerd that I am. I blame my mother for this need-to-clean that's embedded in my skin; she's the hugest clean freak I know.

Well, today was errands day. I sweated it out in the heat, buying stuff for the wedding shower next Saturday. I felt slightly bad, because I ended up taking a whole shelf of mason jars at Hobby Lobby. I instantly regretted grabbing a basket instead of a cart, because I then had to waddle around the store and make funny, pained faces down every aisle. I'm pretty excited to get started on the decorations, but I still have more to buy.

I ended up relocation Frank again into the house to chill on a plastic McDonald's plate by our living room window, because I couldn't take the stress anymore. I think he likes it.

The World is Ours, Ours for the Moment...

Secret Number Twenty-Six: I love Starbucks' Green Tea Latte with soy milk, but concerned with what it may be doing...should it be this green?

I don't know if it's my paranoia, or horrible lack of luck, but I think Frank is getting worse. I don't know where to put him, since my parents didn't believe in putting a cover over our terribly small patio. Probably because it's so small and no one goes out there but my pee-filled dogs, but still. Frank has no safe place to perch. I'm starting to see through some parts of his little, hardly-got-a-chance-to-grow leaves...and a new Frank along the way, unless I can discover a new place.

So, my sister's wedding is coming fast, and her wedding shower is in just a week. I'm donating an entire paycheck to buy decorations and wedding gifts tomorrow. Sadly, I have the same amount in my savings as before the summer; I've been working full-time. Ah, well. It happens. Gotta learn how to not obsessively spend.

Thank God it's Friday, as of thirty-nine minutes...forty minutes ago.

"I swear I'll make it right, just give me one more night; it sucks we all go home, if not we sing along..."

You've Got Designer Shades to Hide Your Face..

Secret Number Twenty-Five: I like my hair better when it's messy.

So, I hurt Frank. :( I checked on him yesterday morning before work, and got worried because the sun was already directly on him at ten in the morning. Being naive, I shrugged it off, thinking the sun would move soon.
I was wrong.
I came home from work at six, and little Frank had these painful looking spots on his little leaves. I wanted to cry, and poured more water into his pot to make up for it. I think he's a little angry with me. I did move him though to avoid more sunburning. He now chills under our grill. Maybe I'll sing to him later...I heard that singing helps plants grow.

Life keeps slapping me on the face, and I'm thankful to God for it. I keep realizing more things I need to work on, and it's exciting and scary all at once. But, I'm gonna keep going. Just keep running, and keep my eyes looking up.

I'm watching Ellen right now, because I got today off for a college convention that I didn't even end up going to, and I'm in total bliss. I'm obsessed with Ellen DeGeneres. Obsessed. I've had daydreams about hanging out with her, and being her BFF (Damn you, Paris Hilton), and being on her show. Every time she comes on her show and says something about her being in a magazine, I go and buy it. She's awesome.

Well, I'm going to go sneak into my awesome sister's apartment pool (with permission).

"I'm fallin, I'm fallin, I'm fallin for you..oh darling it's finally true."

I need you now more than I needed you then...

Secret Number Twenty-Four: I dream about you every night, and wake up sad.

So, it's been..one month and one week, since the boyfriend and I broke up. Don't really want to talk about it, but I'm trying to leave him alone and grow in myself.
I've gained a lot of peace with my life, and my past, and myself. Now I'm trying to regain a strong relationship with God. It surprises even myself, because I always thought I'd end up atheist...but a part of me wants to try again. And with Cody gone, this is my chance. My chance to grow into myself, and rediscover God. If he comes back eventually, great. I'll be a better person, and we'll be happier. If not...well...okay. I really don't want to think about that right now.

So, for AP Bio, we have to grow a plant. We had the choice between a begonia and a Coleus, which is an ugly, boring, leafy plant. Following the girl in me, I chose the begonia. So, today I went to lunch with a youth leader who is awesome and I'm gonna meet with her every week, and then went to Lowe's. I walked in all cool in my Pink cop glasses, and realized I'd never find the friggin thing by myself. So, I grabbed this young, smiley guy, and followed him around as he picked me out a pretty plant, food, and a pot. Proud of myself, I strolled out to my car with all my trinkets and named the plant Frank. I've never grown a plant before, and my mother has a black thumb...she kills everything she tries to grow...so naturally I'm a little scared that when I walk into Bio, I'll be holding a pot with a sad, desolate and black little shrub. So, as I tucked Frank into the passenger seat and fasten the seat belt around his small little pot, I promised to try not to let him die.

I'm not sure if we're supposed to log about our plants, but Frank is my new friend, so I'll include him into my blogs for now on...that no one reads. Oh well, it helps to vent. :)

So, off I go into my new life with a manly little flower at my side. Look out, world.

"she keeps a picture of me...in her apartment in the city. Somethings in this world man just don't make sense. "