Make It A Hurricane Before I Go Insane...

Secret Number Thirty Five: I'm terrified to leave home.

Okay, so I think I'm gonna start using this blog as my photography spot until I can afford to create my own website. Here are some pictures I took of a good friend of mine for his videography business.

I Look So Much Cooler Online

Secret Number Thirty Four: I bite the tips off of my chocolate kisses before eating the rest.

Wow, it's been awhile. So much has been going on, and I haven't had time to catch my breath. Here's a brief synopsis of what's happened in the past couple of months....

I've accepted myself, and him. I've let him go, and we're now friends. He has a girlfriend, who I personally think isn't attractive enough for him, and I have a boyfriend. He's been my best guy friend since freshman year, and I'm happy with him. :)

The sister is married and happy, and I'm elated for her.

School is insane, and college is terrifying me as I try to figure out applications.

I don't feel like for-real blogging today, I've got a big assignment due tomorrow for my teaching class. Till next time....

It Was the Sound of You and I

Secret Number Thirty-Three: I love sunflowers during the summer time.

So, I took today off of work, cause I still feel crappy. Luckily, the throat isn't bothering me as much, but my jaw is still significantly sore. I attempted to eat some toast with my eggs this morning. Let me just say that I'm thankful no one was there to witness this pathetic failure. I'm pretty sure I looked like I've never used teeth before. Betsey the cow would be proud.

I just finished cleaning the bathroom so the mother would be happy. I started out being diligent, but then stopped caring and kind of blew off trying. Sorry, Mommy.

The wonderful sister wants me to come over for a couple hours and keep her company, which I shall get ready to do now. She's getting married in something like twenty days. That's so freaky. She's the first to get married out of us kids; my oldest brother is the first to have a kid. I'm starting to feel old and reminiscent.

Ah, the good old days when my older brother Jake would beat up on me, then Amorae would beat up on him, and Josh on her. Those were such lovely times.

It's kind of scary that my sister is getting married. I mean, it probably won't be too much different, because I've hung out with her and her fiance for the whole two years they've been together, helped Jonny plan the proposal, and have spent the night at their place too many times. But, there's still the fact that my sister...my best friend...is getting married. We're not going to have the same last name anymore. She's going to move into a house. She's going to have kids. My sister is growing up.
I think I'm going to cry.

I'm so happy for her, it's insane. But I'm also secretly terrified. She's the first one out of the four of us to be doing this; she's setting the bar. We'll be going to her for marriage advice, kid advice, whatever. It's just so odd.

Well, I'm off to get cute-ish.


"If I could change anything, I'd change everything but you...please promise me you won't change a thing..."

I've Been Dreaming of You From the Other Side,

Secret Number Thirty-Two: I like being taken care of.

Well, I haven't been able to blog, because I've been on bed rest since Thursday. That morning, I took part in what my high school calls "Flight School", in which we leaders guide the new incoming freshmen around the school, give advice, and act crazy. Well, at least, that's what I did. I took the chance of that morning to show these scared, timid children that life is meant to be lived crazily and without holding back. So, yeah, I belted the Alma Mater in an opera voice around the entire classroom, danced like a crazy white chick, and screamed down the quiet halls. I've always been an extrovert, but since all this new single-tood and just living life, I've learned to let go of insecurities and just be myself.

Which, I guess, is a crazy chick who has way too much school spirit. My group loved me, I just knew it. It made me feel so awesome when one of the boys came up to me and told me he admired my personality and my school spirit. I was like, Heck. Yes. :)

So, after dancing in the middle of the gym with my fellow seniors, I ran out the doors to my house. I took my "Chill Out Pill" that my surgeon gave me to take 45 minutes before my wisdom teeth surgery, and then chilled in the car on the way to the surgery. I remember sitting in the car and texting my ex-boyfriend exactly what I was thinking and feeling at that moment. Which probably wasn't what he wanted to hear. Oh, well. I was drugged. I remember freaking out cause the cars around us were moving too fast for my eyes to focus on them. I don't remember getting to the place, but I do remember the dude sticking the needle in my arm. I didn't appreciate that. Then he stuck in the sleepy-juice, and asked me about my job. Then, black.

So, I'm sad to hear that I wasn't as crazy funny as my oldest brother. However, my reasoning is that I'm already NATURALLY hilarious, so I don't need enhancing drugs to make me more comical. I think the pain medicine really just made me more blunt and want to dance more frequently.

I've had a lot of visitors, which has made me feel special and kind of queenly. However, once they all leave, I feel lonely again. I'm still trying to heal, and it's taking too long. My jaw is still swollen and in pain, and now I fear that I'm catching a cold or something. I'll probably call in to work tomorrow and let myself get an extra day of relief; no way I can scream at kids with these swollen cheeks.

Off to sleep, eat, and sleep. Thanks for listening, my two avid followers.

"Put your hands on my heart..."

Watching the Light Dim...

Secret Number Thirty-One: I don't like people touching my face.

So, house-sitting was overall pretty successful, except for the fact that my grandparents' dog may hate me. Saturday morning, I groggily rolled out of the bed and let Gizmo out front to do her thing. Normally, she'll just run to the grass, do her business, and hobble back inside no problem. I expected this as I stood at the door in my normal sleeping attire of a sports bra and boy shorts. However, Gizmo decided to switch it up. I watched her wobble closer to the steps, but didn't do anything because I expected her to just stop and you know...whatever. But no. Gizmo kept walking down the little hill, down the sidewalk, and over next door. She kept glancing at the street like she was actually considering wobbling across to try out the other neighbor's grass! Not wanting to have a dead dog hanging over my head, I ran outside, sprinted down the sidewalk, scooped her up, and dashed for the front door...all in my skivvies. I was so embarrassed, and she looked pretty smug about it.

Gizmo didn't go out front again.

Frank is gone, a friend adopted him today. I was quite sad to pack his food into her car and buckle him up...his leaves actually touched the belt this time. They grow up so fast...

So, I just got a wonderful call.

I got this call from a restricted number and didn't answer until they called again and it was a riceboxx employee telling me that they're calling random people to offer this free thing if they come to the new store and I was like," where is it?" and he didn't know. So he's looking for the paper, yelling at someone else in vietnamese and kept saying "where's the f-ing paper!?" but he couldn't find it and told me sorry we could do this another time, and told me he loved me.

I told him I loved him too.

"You haven't loved since January..."

Just Give Me One More Song...

Secret Number Thirty: I love daisies.

So, here I am on vacation at my grandparents' house this weekend. Currently, I'm lounging on the couch watching the movie Up with their old shihtzu, Gizmo. The whole empty house thing isn't freaking me out just yet...no promises about when I try to go to sleep.

So, great great news. Yesterday at work, I finally finished my Inner Fish book. I pushed myself through the Darwinistic bullshit...and landed on the other side. I was so happy. I immediately jumped up and did my Happy Dance in the Daycare's hallway, extremely pleased with myself. After work, I floated home, still on my summer-assignment high. Then, Mom told me I had a message from my school counselor. I listened, and began yelling at the recorded voice. I yelled extremities and sobbed at my desk; she called to tell me that because of my schedule, I could not take AP Biology next year. So, I wasted all that effort and frustration on nothing. Frank was useless now, and I felt bad for admitting to it.

Because of my counselor, Frank will die.

I've started to accept this, and already sold the stupid book to a friend who is actually taking the class. Life goes on, yadda yadda.
Tomorrow is my sister's wedding shower, and I'm pretty darn excited. :)

"I do not like the cone of shame..." -dog from Up

I Keep Them; They're Mine...

Secret Number Twenty-Nine: I hate Shakespeare.

Today was a pretty off day. I wasn't really sad for a specific reason; I was just SAD. I hate when that happens, cause if I know what's making me sad, I can work out a way to accept it or just ignore it. But I did have fun with my older girls there; we kept making goofy faces at each other and just laughing about nothing. I'm gonna be pretty heartbroken next week when I'm forced to work with the nasty four year-olds.

Okay, Shakespeare is impossible to pick out specific literary elements. For part of my English Summer Assignment, I have to pick out 50. I'm already wanting to cut my wrists and bleed on the books pages...and I've only put down three.

School is approaching way too fast, and my schedule is fattening. I don't like this feeling of stress returning...maybe I should run more.

Well, off to let out some steam in my book.

"The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears. I can assure you that won't happen again..." Grace Kelly; Mika.

If What They Say is True; You're a Boy and I'm a Girl...

Secret Number Twenty-Eight: I close my eyes when I'm thrown in the dark.

So, pretty lazy day. The girls were gone by noon for work (haha, suckers) and I was left to piddling around my house on the hunt for something to do. I finished my first scholarship essay, cleaned up my room, watched some Shark Week shows, and then laid out in the backyard to tan with my buddy, Frank, who looks much more green now that I've placed him indoors. What a pansy. Ha, get it? Pansies are flowers...ah, never mind. My two followers will laugh.

So, now it is 4:30, and I'm stuck with nothing to do. Again. I take a lot after my mother, and just like her, I can't just sit around. I need a chore to do; something to go find. Bah, damn the hot 106 Texas degree weather! My step grandparents are coming over, and I don't particularly feel like sitting around listening to them shoot the breeze, but I can't hide in my room on the computer like "all them damn teenagers these days".

I spent too much money this weekend. Way, way too much. My whole check, actually, and I feel so guilty. I have no money to show for this entire summer. I need to cut my shopaholic tendencies and chill out. Make other people pay for shit :)

Okay, well...I guess I shall go hunt for something else to do.

"I better find yo lovin', I better find your heart..."

Brace Yourself!!

Secret Number Twenty-Seven: I think my toes look like french fries.

I'm waiting for the best friends to get over, so I'm cleaning like the nerd that I am. I blame my mother for this need-to-clean that's embedded in my skin; she's the hugest clean freak I know.

Well, today was errands day. I sweated it out in the heat, buying stuff for the wedding shower next Saturday. I felt slightly bad, because I ended up taking a whole shelf of mason jars at Hobby Lobby. I instantly regretted grabbing a basket instead of a cart, because I then had to waddle around the store and make funny, pained faces down every aisle. I'm pretty excited to get started on the decorations, but I still have more to buy.

I ended up relocation Frank again into the house to chill on a plastic McDonald's plate by our living room window, because I couldn't take the stress anymore. I think he likes it.

The World is Ours, Ours for the Moment...

Secret Number Twenty-Six: I love Starbucks' Green Tea Latte with soy milk, but concerned with what it may be doing...should it be this green?

I don't know if it's my paranoia, or horrible lack of luck, but I think Frank is getting worse. I don't know where to put him, since my parents didn't believe in putting a cover over our terribly small patio. Probably because it's so small and no one goes out there but my pee-filled dogs, but still. Frank has no safe place to perch. I'm starting to see through some parts of his little, hardly-got-a-chance-to-grow leaves...and a new Frank along the way, unless I can discover a new place.

So, my sister's wedding is coming fast, and her wedding shower is in just a week. I'm donating an entire paycheck to buy decorations and wedding gifts tomorrow. Sadly, I have the same amount in my savings as before the summer; I've been working full-time. Ah, well. It happens. Gotta learn how to not obsessively spend.

Thank God it's Friday, as of thirty-nine minutes...forty minutes ago.

"I swear I'll make it right, just give me one more night; it sucks we all go home, if not we sing along..."

You've Got Designer Shades to Hide Your Face..

Secret Number Twenty-Five: I like my hair better when it's messy.

So, I hurt Frank. :( I checked on him yesterday morning before work, and got worried because the sun was already directly on him at ten in the morning. Being naive, I shrugged it off, thinking the sun would move soon.
I was wrong.
I came home from work at six, and little Frank had these painful looking spots on his little leaves. I wanted to cry, and poured more water into his pot to make up for it. I think he's a little angry with me. I did move him though to avoid more sunburning. He now chills under our grill. Maybe I'll sing to him later...I heard that singing helps plants grow.

Life keeps slapping me on the face, and I'm thankful to God for it. I keep realizing more things I need to work on, and it's exciting and scary all at once. But, I'm gonna keep going. Just keep running, and keep my eyes looking up.

I'm watching Ellen right now, because I got today off for a college convention that I didn't even end up going to, and I'm in total bliss. I'm obsessed with Ellen DeGeneres. Obsessed. I've had daydreams about hanging out with her, and being her BFF (Damn you, Paris Hilton), and being on her show. Every time she comes on her show and says something about her being in a magazine, I go and buy it. She's awesome.

Well, I'm going to go sneak into my awesome sister's apartment pool (with permission).

"I'm fallin, I'm fallin, I'm fallin for you..oh darling it's finally true."

I need you now more than I needed you then...

Secret Number Twenty-Four: I dream about you every night, and wake up sad.

So, it's been..one month and one week, since the boyfriend and I broke up. Don't really want to talk about it, but I'm trying to leave him alone and grow in myself.
I've gained a lot of peace with my life, and my past, and myself. Now I'm trying to regain a strong relationship with God. It surprises even myself, because I always thought I'd end up atheist...but a part of me wants to try again. And with Cody gone, this is my chance. My chance to grow into myself, and rediscover God. If he comes back eventually, great. I'll be a better person, and we'll be happier. If not...well...okay. I really don't want to think about that right now.

So, for AP Bio, we have to grow a plant. We had the choice between a begonia and a Coleus, which is an ugly, boring, leafy plant. Following the girl in me, I chose the begonia. So, today I went to lunch with a youth leader who is awesome and I'm gonna meet with her every week, and then went to Lowe's. I walked in all cool in my Pink cop glasses, and realized I'd never find the friggin thing by myself. So, I grabbed this young, smiley guy, and followed him around as he picked me out a pretty plant, food, and a pot. Proud of myself, I strolled out to my car with all my trinkets and named the plant Frank. I've never grown a plant before, and my mother has a black thumb...she kills everything she tries to grow...so naturally I'm a little scared that when I walk into Bio, I'll be holding a pot with a sad, desolate and black little shrub. So, as I tucked Frank into the passenger seat and fasten the seat belt around his small little pot, I promised to try not to let him die.

I'm not sure if we're supposed to log about our plants, but Frank is my new friend, so I'll include him into my blogs for now on...that no one reads. Oh well, it helps to vent. :)

So, off I go into my new life with a manly little flower at my side. Look out, world.

"she keeps a picture of me...in her apartment in the city. Somethings in this world man just don't make sense. "

Excuse Me Miss, But Can I Get You Out Your...

Secret Number Twenty Three: I love how he smells first thing in the morning.

It's been summer for a while, but frankly, I can't really tell.
For one, I'm working full time at the Day Care. That includes: Keeping the boys from killing each other over computers, trying to keep my own personal space as the clingy little girls spew their cheese-puff-scented questions in my face, keep myself from dozing off, and fill my food baby with junk food and soda. Sometimes I get to go on field trips, which I am always excited about. You'd find Shrek Four exciting, too, if you sat inside all day every day. Don't judge me.

Also, I'm taking summer school for a couple of weeks. Thanks to my potential future career in teaching and therefore, ETI (sorry, FTI now), I don't have room to take both Economics and Government together senior (yay!) year next year. So, bye-bye $125, hello Summer school. It's all on the computer and self-taught and self-paced. So I just sit there reading, copying, and pasting for three hours early in the morning. Then I proceed to speed through construction zones to work. :) (I only go five-seven over. Chill.)

As for LIFE, things are hectic and out-of-whack. The boyfriend abandoned me for church camp on Saturday night, and I've been crying and smelling his pillow since then. I know it's pathetic, but we've been together two years and have spent maybe a total of a month apart during those two years. It's hard, and I miss him. You know that saying, "you never know what you have, till it's gone"? Well, I want to find the grave of whoever said that, dig up their corpse, strangle it, and chunk it back into its hole in little bone pieces. Love sucks.
Also, it's been especially hard without Cody because my dad is giving me hell, and it's really stressing me out. No details, but I'm just sick of him. Cody was always the best at making me feel better about him.

I leave Thursday for Orlando, to enjoy the new WWHOP (Wizarding World of Harry Potter) with my sister and her fiance. I'm oober excited. :) Nerds are sexy.

"It's happiness by the Carton..." Commercial ad for Dreyer's Icecream. (No songs on)

Let's just let the world walk by...

Secret Number Twenty Two: I feel inadequate when compared to my older sister.

I hate it when my parents ask for help with something, typically something techy like the computer, and when I don't know, they sound all annoyed and say, "Well we'll just ask your sister. She knows this stuff." Thanks, guys, for shoving that knife deeper into my self esteem! I mean, God, don't they hear themselves when they talk? People should have seminars for parents on stupid shit you SHOULDN'T say to your kids.
1) When I was your age, I had to blah blah blah. -Yeah. We don't care what you HAD to do, we just care about how you're making us vacuum the stupid living room for the second time this week.
2) If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too?- No, we're not suicidal(the most of us). However, if there were ropes involved, Hell Yes!
3) Oh, well, let me ask insert older sibling's name here, I bet they'll know it.- Okay, go ahead. Also, while you're at it, ask them if they'll also let you live with them, cause now I'm just gonna chuck you into a retirement home, bitch.

Yeah. So now, since I'm not as brilliant or studious as my sister, I'm just inadequate. I should probably be used to it, but I'm not. I'm sick of this shadow I'm having to live in.

On other news, my Physics AP Test is tomorrow, and I've hardly studied. I've already accepted my failure.

Night, night.

My hands smell like metal.

Secret Number Twenty one: I'm really bad at remembering things, such as blogging.

So, the year is almost over; delicious smells are floating...along with deadly and irritating pollen. The mosquitoes are making themselves known, as are June Bugs.
Number of June Bugs savagely murdered so far: 3
Everyday I'm getting closer to the joy of sunbathing and late nights...and also to my AP tests. Gah. AP tests are just not aesthetic. They're ugly, vile, putrid, baneful things that deserve to be burned in a pit and danced around. (Notice that I am memorizing SAT words. aha, BAM.)
Also, the place in which I was working just went out of business randomly, leaving me with no job and barely any money. Good news= I can stay out later, Bad news=....no money.

I'm attempting to find another job, but not running rampant through the streets JUST yet. Maybe in a couple weeks when my savings account dries out.

Saturday I'm helping best friend Emily get ready for prom. I'm really excited, even though I don't have prom. It's just the girl inside of me. :)

I should go study, so tata.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby OOOOH!"

Lost Things

Secret Number Twenty: I have a secret love for Hello Kitty. No idea why.

So, I realize I haven't blogged in quite a long time. I started to feel guilty until I remembered that Oh yeah! I only have one follower. So no big loss.

I was watching a cool stop motion clip on a friend's blog, and now my mind is speeding away about all the things I've loved and lost. Like this memory I have with my dad. I'm looking up at him, and it's like he's God, he's so giant. It's warm, and we're walking into a store. He holds out his pointer finger, which I grab with my entire hand. We reach the crosswalk and start skipping across the fading white lines and he's singing "skip to my loo" and I'm inconceivably happy. And then the memory goes blank.
I miss the sense of safety I used to feel around people, the comfort. But then, a boy had to do something painful and evil with a supposed friend right next to us, and now I can't stand crowds of friends or strangers.
I miss all of my stuffed animals and my toys that I had when I was little. With them, I crawled around on the rough carpet in the living room until my knees got too red. When I wasn't at school, I was alone. My toys were my friends; my escape into a loving, wonderful world.
Most of all, I miss feeling carefree. Before Life happened, I laughed constantly, and had sleepovers that lasted days with my best friends. But then all the Shit happened and nothing is the same. I'M not the same. I worry and stress and cry when I'm not always sure why. I hardly see my friends from middle school, and miss them terribly.

But the things you have to learn about lost things is that you never can find them again. Once they disappear, they're impossible to touch again.

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus." Circus, Britney Spears

Here's to Lookin' Fine and Having No Where to Go...

Secret Number Nineteen: I'm in love with Cowboys.

So, I was supposed to hang out with the boyfriend, but after I got home, ate, cleaned the bathroom, and got cute...he went to his friend's house.
Eff.

Now, I'm blogging as I wait for my friend, Tamara, to be ready so we can hit up the mall and hit on cute guys. I know it's not nice, but when he pulls this crap I like to make him mad. :) Yes, I'm evil.

Gah. It's Spring Break, but I'll probably be working my tush off the majority of the time. :/

My mind is blank.

Till next time,

Speak

Secret Number Eighteen: Sometimes I start to think that my life is nice and start smiling and waking up hopeful...and then Life slaps me on the face and says, "You idiot, your life is crap so quit humming Show Tunes." Drat.

So, my computer had a massive heart attack and died last week while my sister was trying to make it work faster. Poor old geezer, didn't have a chance. So, I've been walking aimlessly around without the joy of listening to my Itunes or adding onto my book. I can't look at my pictures...which means my blogs will be absent of photography for an unknown period of time. I'm stuck reading and doing homework, or driving around wasting money on crap I don't need.

Speaking of books, I bought Speak. I started it in First period, and finished it in Fifth while we watched an insanely boring video in English. I realized within the first two pages that I knew this story, and when I thought about it, I realized that I saw a TV movie based on it one night while hiding in the dark at my father's house. It was on the Oxygen channel. "Bella" was in it; she did pretty well since she's already very odd. Anyways, the book put me into an even worse funk than I was already in. This was my thought process all day:
Sleep. Food. Pain. I hate my eyebrows. She's too pretty. Why didn't I put on make-up today. Cafeteria food should be illegal. Teenagers are annoying. Physics is cruel. Hate. Hate. Hate her. Pain. Memories. Regret. Pity. Tired.

I'm supposed to be driving to the middle school nearby for my Mentor-Mentee group thing, but my little girl is sick, so I'm skipping. Why act like my life is great and I don't care about what people in high-school think of me and I'm comfortable with who I am when I'm so so so not?

I might start working on a new novel, since I can't get to Sunshine right now. Ugh.

"I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it's free." - Bad Romance, Lady Gag A

Take My Hand and Let's Dance...

Secret Number Seventeen: I can't write without music.

Yes, my millions of avid followers, I know that I've failed to blog in a long time. So, so sorry. (heh.)

Lots of craziness since the new trimester (instead of SEMESTER, yeah, my school is cool) started, I've been crazy busy. I can't believe how close I am to being a senior. Wow.

As you've probably heard, Texas received a record amount of snow a little bit ago. It was AMAZING. I played all day in the snow with the boyfriend. And took pictures. :) Also, I promised I'd photograph my friends for the guy friend's vday gift to the girl friend. :) I'll include some of those too. :)

Enough talk, here's some photos.





































and of course, I made the boyfriend pose with me for a few pics. :)

It's a Quarter After One, I'm All Alone and I Need You Now.

Secret Number Sixteen: I have a recent obsession with elephants. I've always been obsessed with giraffes.

Today is Friday, yet it didn't really FEEL like it. School is killer and I wish to strangle certain immature students in some of my classes. However, that would be frowned upon. I'd most likely get kicked out and then embrace my dream of running a McDonald's. Yay.

Picture time? Yes. The first is dedicated to my friend, Jenna. :) She is great and blogged about how great I am. She's a wonderful girl, always full of love and joy, and so I'm putting this picture up just for her. :)







Okay back to all seriousness... these are three of the very first pictures I ever took with a 35mm. It was my dad's and I fell in love instantly. They aren't the greatest, but I still love them.

Generate the False Alarms, the Verdict is Conterfeit..

Secret Number Fifteen: I wish I had more of a country accent.

School: a chubby kid with a magnifying glass, giggling as I squirm in pain.
Life: full of selfishness, hate, disappointment, and fat.


These are some of the pictures my wonderfully bright sister edited for me. This is my eldest brother and his girlfriend/future fiancé :)
"Baby I've been waiting for this long hard day to be over, So I can rest my head right here on your shoulder" I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes, Dierks Bentley

I Think You and I Should Stay the Same...

Secret Number Fourteen: I honestly believe that you could do better, but I'm glad you're so unobservant. :)

Life: is a big scribble on a blank sheet of paper. With big, fat blotches of ink and holes from pressing too hard.

Good news? I finally got my pictures from the sister. So, I'll start putting a few up at a time.

These are pictures of one of my best friends. I've started on a project, and she's the first I've photographed for it. And the last. I just don't get the chance...

Yeah, I took these balancing a lamp on my left shoulder and focusing with one hand. :)

And Let the Sun Wrap Its Arms Around Me...

Secret Number Thirteen: I love sad music.

So, I got my license today! About freaking time if you ask me. I even got to skip first period to go get it. :)

Sadly, I don't have a parking spot yet, so I can't drive to and from school...

PICTURES!
(Left) is a random picture I took of my shirt drying in the summer. I got this off of my photobucket, since my sister still hasn't given me my photos..

Second: is just a closer up shot. :) I like.













"If the silence takes you, then I hope It takes me, too..." Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie

I Wanna Feel That Lightning..

Secret Number Twelve: Large groups of people make me anxious and cranky, but I hate being alone.

So, it's the weekend...and I'm at home like a loser on the computer. The boyfriend is watching 'THE GAME' at his friend's house. I was invited. However, I don't prefer being ignored. Plus, I don't understand football, so why watch? (I only enjoy the first five minutes as they show the men bending over and stretching in those tight pants..mmm.)

So yes. I have decided to ask my boss for a well-deserved raise (in my and everyone else's opinion), but being the wuss that I am, I have prolonged the whole affair. You don't understand how much of a jerk my boss is. And it's hard to figure out if he's having a good or bad day, so you never know when to ask for something. Yeah. Maybe tomorrow...

First (left): This is a random picture of my two best friends. It's blurry, I know. But I like the color and light.


Second: This is another of the few that I took of my other friend. The lighting is harsh on her face, but I'm sure I could fix it if I wanted to :)

Third: This is the first picture I ever took with my dad's 35mm of live people. :) These are two of my friends, being silly girls. I love it. :)

"It's her hair and her eyes that take me away today.." Out of my League, Stephen Speaks

They're Laughing at You, Laughing at You and Me...

Secret Number Eleven: I write best when listening to orchestra music, preferably Beethoven.

So, today was THE coldest day Texas has had in a very long time, and yet my school district still insisted on making us reluctant students slip and slide to school. It was miserable, and tomorrow is supposed to be even COLDER. Ha. Like I'M going out there to warm up my car. Psht. Make the dang supervisor person come scratch off the ice on my windows.

Today wasn't very exciting, nothing worthy of typing out on my blog that no one reads.

So, a picture or two and I'm done..
First one (on left)- another one of my sister and her now fiancé. I'm just proud of myself for catching the seeds flying off of the thingy-ma-jig.

Second(to the right) is one of two of my best friends in the world looking for cute boys in my freshman yearbook. I think this was taken with my DAD'S 35mm, same brand and year, just now mine is a different copy. I just like the colors...


And lastly, a random picture from LAST New Year's, so 2009. I went to a huge party for a friend's birthday where everyone stayed the night at her dad's boss's house. It was pretty. This is aforementioned friend with sparkler. I took this picture, hoping it would come out. I have yet to learn about controlling aperture and such, so I just winged it.


Okay, that's all. :)
"I look fly, I look good. Touch my swag, wish you could!" I Look Good, Charlie Boy

But if You Never Try, You'll Never Know What You're Worth.

Secret Number Ten: My smile is my favorite, and only best feature.

So, today was the first day back to High school life. Ah, I sure missed all of the "drama, all the backstabbing and stink-eyes". That's a very small snippet from my book. It's super teeny tiny, but when I was planning out my first sentence, that line from my first chapter popped in my head, so I quoted it. Can you quote yourself? I'm not too sure. Ah, well. I personally think that I am quotable.

Anywho, school actually is one of my favorite things.
Quick! A list of Lauren's Favorite Things!
1) polaroid cameras
2) the smell and feel of old book pages
3) writing
4) reading
5) Harry Potter
6) Denzel Washington
7) chocolate
8) my boyfriend's smile
9) inside jokes
10) dancing

Okay, that's enough. Those are my top ten, and when I say 'Top Ten' (there I go quoting myself again), I mean the first ten things that came to my head. So yeah, school. Although in this trimester, I'm taking on AP Physics and stupid, vile, putrid, disgusting, agonizing, heart-wrenching...Regulars U.S. History...wait, where was I going with this? Basically, school is complicated. BUT, I'm trying to stay positive. Positive.

So, this is a picture of my eldest brother and his beautiful girlfriend/ baby's mother that I adore and love with my whole heart. This is one of the photos that I mentioned in an earlier blog that I STILL don't have the originals of. Soon though...soon.

"What an amazing time, what a family. How did the years go by? Now it's only me..." - What're You Waiting For?, Gwen Stafani

Just One More Plane Ride and It's Done...

Secret Number Nine: My hair is my security blanket.

Welcome to 2010. Just one more year till graduation...two more years till the world ends (supposedly).

I've tried to come up with some New Year Resolutions. However, I know that I always fail miserably and give up on each one. Oh well, here they are.
1. Lighten up. (Not sure how I'll do that)
2. Lose that roll on yo belly! (That's been there since 6th grade, according to loving Mama)
3. Finish, and edit book. (Yeah, like that'll happen.)
4. Photograph more.

There they are! Only four, yet I'm pretty sure I'll end up blowing all of them off. Ah, well. :) Too tired to really chit chat like the norm, so I'll conclude with a photo.

Maybe I should start putting a disclaimer thingy on my photos; I keep seeing it on other peoples' pictures...hmm...I'll work on that..