Brace Yourself!!

Secret Number Twenty-Seven: I think my toes look like french fries.

I'm waiting for the best friends to get over, so I'm cleaning like the nerd that I am. I blame my mother for this need-to-clean that's embedded in my skin; she's the hugest clean freak I know.

Well, today was errands day. I sweated it out in the heat, buying stuff for the wedding shower next Saturday. I felt slightly bad, because I ended up taking a whole shelf of mason jars at Hobby Lobby. I instantly regretted grabbing a basket instead of a cart, because I then had to waddle around the store and make funny, pained faces down every aisle. I'm pretty excited to get started on the decorations, but I still have more to buy.

I ended up relocation Frank again into the house to chill on a plastic McDonald's plate by our living room window, because I couldn't take the stress anymore. I think he likes it.

The World is Ours, Ours for the Moment...

Secret Number Twenty-Six: I love Starbucks' Green Tea Latte with soy milk, but concerned with what it may be doing...should it be this green?

I don't know if it's my paranoia, or horrible lack of luck, but I think Frank is getting worse. I don't know where to put him, since my parents didn't believe in putting a cover over our terribly small patio. Probably because it's so small and no one goes out there but my pee-filled dogs, but still. Frank has no safe place to perch. I'm starting to see through some parts of his little, hardly-got-a-chance-to-grow leaves...and a new Frank along the way, unless I can discover a new place.

So, my sister's wedding is coming fast, and her wedding shower is in just a week. I'm donating an entire paycheck to buy decorations and wedding gifts tomorrow. Sadly, I have the same amount in my savings as before the summer; I've been working full-time. Ah, well. It happens. Gotta learn how to not obsessively spend.

Thank God it's Friday, as of thirty-nine minutes...forty minutes ago.

"I swear I'll make it right, just give me one more night; it sucks we all go home, if not we sing along..."

You've Got Designer Shades to Hide Your Face..

Secret Number Twenty-Five: I like my hair better when it's messy.

So, I hurt Frank. :( I checked on him yesterday morning before work, and got worried because the sun was already directly on him at ten in the morning. Being naive, I shrugged it off, thinking the sun would move soon.
I was wrong.
I came home from work at six, and little Frank had these painful looking spots on his little leaves. I wanted to cry, and poured more water into his pot to make up for it. I think he's a little angry with me. I did move him though to avoid more sunburning. He now chills under our grill. Maybe I'll sing to him later...I heard that singing helps plants grow.

Life keeps slapping me on the face, and I'm thankful to God for it. I keep realizing more things I need to work on, and it's exciting and scary all at once. But, I'm gonna keep going. Just keep running, and keep my eyes looking up.

I'm watching Ellen right now, because I got today off for a college convention that I didn't even end up going to, and I'm in total bliss. I'm obsessed with Ellen DeGeneres. Obsessed. I've had daydreams about hanging out with her, and being her BFF (Damn you, Paris Hilton), and being on her show. Every time she comes on her show and says something about her being in a magazine, I go and buy it. She's awesome.

Well, I'm going to go sneak into my awesome sister's apartment pool (with permission).

"I'm fallin, I'm fallin, I'm fallin for you..oh darling it's finally true."

I need you now more than I needed you then...

Secret Number Twenty-Four: I dream about you every night, and wake up sad.

So, it's been..one month and one week, since the boyfriend and I broke up. Don't really want to talk about it, but I'm trying to leave him alone and grow in myself.
I've gained a lot of peace with my life, and my past, and myself. Now I'm trying to regain a strong relationship with God. It surprises even myself, because I always thought I'd end up atheist...but a part of me wants to try again. And with Cody gone, this is my chance. My chance to grow into myself, and rediscover God. If he comes back eventually, great. I'll be a better person, and we'll be happier. If not...well...okay. I really don't want to think about that right now.

So, for AP Bio, we have to grow a plant. We had the choice between a begonia and a Coleus, which is an ugly, boring, leafy plant. Following the girl in me, I chose the begonia. So, today I went to lunch with a youth leader who is awesome and I'm gonna meet with her every week, and then went to Lowe's. I walked in all cool in my Pink cop glasses, and realized I'd never find the friggin thing by myself. So, I grabbed this young, smiley guy, and followed him around as he picked me out a pretty plant, food, and a pot. Proud of myself, I strolled out to my car with all my trinkets and named the plant Frank. I've never grown a plant before, and my mother has a black thumb...she kills everything she tries to grow...so naturally I'm a little scared that when I walk into Bio, I'll be holding a pot with a sad, desolate and black little shrub. So, as I tucked Frank into the passenger seat and fasten the seat belt around his small little pot, I promised to try not to let him die.

I'm not sure if we're supposed to log about our plants, but Frank is my new friend, so I'll include him into my blogs for now on...that no one reads. Oh well, it helps to vent. :)

So, off I go into my new life with a manly little flower at my side. Look out, world.

"she keeps a picture of me...in her apartment in the city. Somethings in this world man just don't make sense. "

Excuse Me Miss, But Can I Get You Out Your...

Secret Number Twenty Three: I love how he smells first thing in the morning.

It's been summer for a while, but frankly, I can't really tell.
For one, I'm working full time at the Day Care. That includes: Keeping the boys from killing each other over computers, trying to keep my own personal space as the clingy little girls spew their cheese-puff-scented questions in my face, keep myself from dozing off, and fill my food baby with junk food and soda. Sometimes I get to go on field trips, which I am always excited about. You'd find Shrek Four exciting, too, if you sat inside all day every day. Don't judge me.

Also, I'm taking summer school for a couple of weeks. Thanks to my potential future career in teaching and therefore, ETI (sorry, FTI now), I don't have room to take both Economics and Government together senior (yay!) year next year. So, bye-bye $125, hello Summer school. It's all on the computer and self-taught and self-paced. So I just sit there reading, copying, and pasting for three hours early in the morning. Then I proceed to speed through construction zones to work. :) (I only go five-seven over. Chill.)

As for LIFE, things are hectic and out-of-whack. The boyfriend abandoned me for church camp on Saturday night, and I've been crying and smelling his pillow since then. I know it's pathetic, but we've been together two years and have spent maybe a total of a month apart during those two years. It's hard, and I miss him. You know that saying, "you never know what you have, till it's gone"? Well, I want to find the grave of whoever said that, dig up their corpse, strangle it, and chunk it back into its hole in little bone pieces. Love sucks.
Also, it's been especially hard without Cody because my dad is giving me hell, and it's really stressing me out. No details, but I'm just sick of him. Cody was always the best at making me feel better about him.

I leave Thursday for Orlando, to enjoy the new WWHOP (Wizarding World of Harry Potter) with my sister and her fiance. I'm oober excited. :) Nerds are sexy.

"It's happiness by the Carton..." Commercial ad for Dreyer's Icecream. (No songs on)

Let's just let the world walk by...

Secret Number Twenty Two: I feel inadequate when compared to my older sister.

I hate it when my parents ask for help with something, typically something techy like the computer, and when I don't know, they sound all annoyed and say, "Well we'll just ask your sister. She knows this stuff." Thanks, guys, for shoving that knife deeper into my self esteem! I mean, God, don't they hear themselves when they talk? People should have seminars for parents on stupid shit you SHOULDN'T say to your kids.
1) When I was your age, I had to blah blah blah. -Yeah. We don't care what you HAD to do, we just care about how you're making us vacuum the stupid living room for the second time this week.
2) If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too?- No, we're not suicidal(the most of us). However, if there were ropes involved, Hell Yes!
3) Oh, well, let me ask insert older sibling's name here, I bet they'll know it.- Okay, go ahead. Also, while you're at it, ask them if they'll also let you live with them, cause now I'm just gonna chuck you into a retirement home, bitch.

Yeah. So now, since I'm not as brilliant or studious as my sister, I'm just inadequate. I should probably be used to it, but I'm not. I'm sick of this shadow I'm having to live in.

On other news, my Physics AP Test is tomorrow, and I've hardly studied. I've already accepted my failure.

Night, night.

My hands smell like metal.

Secret Number Twenty one: I'm really bad at remembering things, such as blogging.

So, the year is almost over; delicious smells are floating...along with deadly and irritating pollen. The mosquitoes are making themselves known, as are June Bugs.
Number of June Bugs savagely murdered so far: 3
Everyday I'm getting closer to the joy of sunbathing and late nights...and also to my AP tests. Gah. AP tests are just not aesthetic. They're ugly, vile, putrid, baneful things that deserve to be burned in a pit and danced around. (Notice that I am memorizing SAT words. aha, BAM.)
Also, the place in which I was working just went out of business randomly, leaving me with no job and barely any money. Good news= I can stay out later, Bad news=....no money.

I'm attempting to find another job, but not running rampant through the streets JUST yet. Maybe in a couple weeks when my savings account dries out.

Saturday I'm helping best friend Emily get ready for prom. I'm really excited, even though I don't have prom. It's just the girl inside of me. :)

I should go study, so tata.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby OOOOH!"